Two days ago I got an itch to do more, be more, create more, and frankly I just want more out of life. It felt like a panic came over me to create a business I had been thinking about for the past year. One that would help me create ripples of kindness and fulfill my need of doing good in the world. So, I buckled up, applied for an LLC, created a website, and got to work on my new company.
I'm someone who either procrastinates until the last second or does everything all at once and gets wildly overwhelmed with everything and everyone. I'll dive in head first and worry about the rest later, mostly because I'm too scared of losing the fleeting feeling of productivity and never getting around to creating the life I've always dreamed of.
About twenty-four hours went by and I was beginning to feel the looming presence of doubt. "What had I done", "I'm in no financial shape to start a company", and "What if I fail", were just a few thoughts that were running through my head. But I began to think of the feeling I have when I think about this future company. I feel like my body is bursting with energy and excitement, something I haven't felt about a project since I was in college. I feel hopeful and driven like I have something I'm excited for. And I guess it's kind of hitting me while I'm typing right now; when was the last time I was excited for a long-term something that I, myself could control? I say that because I'm excited about the future, excited about getting married one day, having kids, etc. But when was the last time I was selfishly excited? Excited about something that I obtained 100% of the power. It's an incredible feeling.
So of course, I did what I always do when I need to talk something out, and I called my mom. My mom knows me better than just about anyone. She knows the habits I like to ignore, and she knows my heart. We had about a 20-minute conversation as I was sitting in my car waiting to pick up my dog from his daycare, and it hit me. I couldn't stop looking at the clock; 1:35 pm.
As my mom was talking to me over the loudspeakers, it felt like I couldn't focus on anything but that clock. That clock was calling my name. Why? Was I missing an appointment? Did I need to get back to the office? What was it?
1:36 pm. I was out of the trance. I told my mom I had to go, I picked up my pup, and I drove home. All the while I was thinking about 1:35.
"Alright", I thought, "I'll bite". I got out my phone and googled "135". In short, this is what I got; "If you see angel number 135, the message relates to the field of relationships and hobbies and says that You acted wisely having opened your soul to the world, having ceased to demand visible and tangible benefits from it. From now on, nothing will prevent you from doing only what your heart draws you to. You may come across minor disappointments and big trouble on the chosen path. But there will be much more joy and happiness anyway. This is the indefeasible law of the universe, which you must faithfully believe in." (numeroscope.net)
Listen, I don't care if it was a coincidence, I don't care if this sounds hoaky, I don't care if someone feels that the excerpt above could apply to anyone about anything they want it to be. I don't care. Because that is exactly what I needed to hear at the exact time I was hearing it.
It could be a placebo effect, but what does it matter if it helps ease anxiety? It aligns with the journey of trusting my intuition, trusting that there are unusual forces that guide us through this thing we call life. Or as some say, trust your gut. Whatever it is, I was given a sense of comfort and encouragement, and that's all that really matters.
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